Pastry Cream
Pastry cream is one of the most, if not the most, versatile baking substances. You can use it to fill cream puffs, eclairs, and tarts. You can use it to make banana bread pudding. You can mix it into other frostings to obtain a silky, decadent texture. And for all of these uses, it should very easy to make (e.g. you should be able to make this drunk). But so many recipes call for you to temper your egg yolks, which is fine except that it makes double the mess for no reason. And then so many recipes tell you to pass the cream through a sieve after baking, also completely unnecessary unless you can see visible curds or lumps. Some recipes even call for you to whisk the egg yolks until ribbony and thick, with no perceivable purpose.
Here’s when my recipe comes in: it’s the easiest one you’ll find. Just throw everything into a pot, heat it up, and you’re essentially done. I just saved you at least 20 minutes of your life. Also, so many recipes call for whole milk specifically. Here’s a secret for you: you can literally use any flavorless milk and it’ll work just fine.
Tips
When cooking your pastry cream, don’t be afraid to reach a thick pudding texture. If you don’t cook it enough, it won’t set in the refrigerator and you’ll end up with a soupy mess. So when in doubt, err on cooking a little longer.
If you have it, use the best, heavy-bottomed saucepot you have. The pastry cream will heat up more evenly and ensure a successful cook.
2 ½ cups of pastry cream
Ingredients
2 cups/484g any unsweetened, flavorless milk (e.g. oat milk, almond milk, whole milk)
5 large/80g egg yolks
1 vanilla bean split lengthwise and seeds scraped out or 2 tsp. vanilla extract
½ cup/100g granulated sugar
¼ cup/30g cornstarch
Pinch of kosher salt
6 tbsp./85g unsalted butter cut into ½” cubes, chilled
Directions
Whisk the milk, egg yolks, vanilla bean seeds, and leftover vanilla bean pod (if using) in a measuring cup or small bowl. Set aside.
In a medium, heavy-bottomed saucepot, add the sugar, cornstarch, and salt. Whisk to remove all lumps. Then slowly whisk in the milk and egg mixture. Add about 2 tbsp. of the chilled butter cubes.
Turn stove to medium-high and whisk mixture constantly until very thick like vanilla pudding, about 1-3 minutes. The mixture will go from bubbly to matte, which will signify you are nearing the endpoint. To make sure the mixture has cooked enough, hold the pot over heat for around 5 seconds. If you see large bubbles popping in the center, your pastry cream has cooked enough.
Immediately remove from heat. Scrape the pastry cream into a medium bowl (if your pudding has visible curds or lumps, pass it through a sieve into the bowl). Add the remaining butter cubes and vanilla extract (if you didn’t use a bean) and stir until completely incorporated. Cover the pastry cream with plastic wrap, pressing the plastic directly on the surface of the cream. Refrigerate until chilled and set, about 2 hours. The pastry cream will last in the refrigerator for around 5 days. Whisk before using.
